Sometimes I hate...

... being me.

Why? I've had the luxury of being born into a loving, caring family of a middle-upper socioeconomic class. I've been given everything I could want, could need. So why do I feel so hollow inside.

Why am I so afraid of the future. Why does thinking about my future make me wish that there wasn't one. Why do I feel so alone, so fucked up, so worthless. So unworthy?

I don't understand why or how I can feel this way. There's nothing wrong, but everything feels wrong.

Yeah, It happened

http://twitter.com/onlyonestepaway

Let us see how long it lasts.

Oh, word.

Yeah so, I'm living in studying in Chengdu now. Probably should have mentioned that earlier. Oh well.

News

I finished doing my chinese shortcourse at tafe - it wasn't bad. Met some good people but didn't get contact details to hang out afterwards. I keep feeling I should have, but it doesn't upset me.

I'm definitely going to China it seems - still waiting on my visa application to arrive in the mail though. At least my application has been accepted and now I'm looking at flights. I really need to lock something in soon there - the later I leave it, the more it costs.

I'm going to Sichuan University in Chengdu, to study Chinese/Mandarin. Not sure if I had mentioned that..

I'm looking at leaving around the 20th of August.

Seeing when I'll finish up here at the private school. Looking like 2nd week of the next term. I'm going to miss it here. Good roommate, comfortable apartment, comfortable lifestyle, great services/features (free gym heeelllooooo?)